03/25/09: CraigsList, Women Seeking Men

My Post:
Not in the mood to wax poetic on the epics tonight.
Marchuary has created the biggest shitstorm I've ever had to deal with, but I'm getting pretty fucking tired of wallowing in self-pity. So if you know the difference between your and you're, understand and implement proper grammar, are literarily minded, tend towards being right-brained without disregarding the left, have qualities that your mother finds redeeming, aren't a total troll and are of reasonable age and maturity, e-mail me. I'm not looking to fuck or be fucked, I just want to find someone equally awesome with whom to have a more-than-decent conversation. If you want to convince me to blow off writing my three-weeks-overdue paper, buy me a drink. Maybe I'll buy one for you, too.

The Responses:
Write your paper!
I'm just annoyed that I'm too old for you, and you sound like fun. If I can't have fun, no one else should be able to either!   -Jamie  (Author's Note: Way too freaking old. Grey hair and beer bellies do not belong next to this Jewish hotness.)

like Dylan in a movie
I'd be inclined to buy you a drink if you tell me what kind of overdue paper you've been working on.
I used to ghost-write college papers, so naturally my interest is piqued. I might even place my service at your disposal if I am sufficiently intrigued. (Things didn't work out. Men named "Ming" in their early 30s-- not my type. And I can write my own papers, thankyouverymuch.)

Hey
Hi,
Well I am new to New York and love to explore the city. The best part of the city is that there is so much to explore.I like doing new and different things. Finding new places in the old ones. I have a good sense of humor and have eclectic interests. I am 25 and have just moved to NYC.
I would like to meet someone with whom I can explore the city and have a good time.
Have a good day!
Saumil (NOT JEWISH)
P.S.:
New York Laws: (Dumb of course)
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way."
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

Re: Not in the mood to wax poetic on the epics tonight.
Hi, my name is Oliver and I am 28. I live in new york, I came from Germany a year ago to this wonderful city. I'm interested in meeting new people and I'm really looking forward to meeting someone special. I'm a calmed kind of person with good sense of humor. I think I'm attractive, here I send you a picture, I hope you like it.
Looking forward to hearing from you!
Oliver (No sense of grammar and the only German I let into my bed is Viv. FAIL.)

Marchuary Stinks Here
I couldn't agree more about how much Marchuary shows little promise with her dark days and unrelenting weather. I think hope is around the bend, at least the days are getting longer, which affords some promise. Well, I'm 30, a male you may (or may not!) be happy to note, I'm cute, and have a hard time sifting through 99% garbage on craigslist. I'm partial to the literary side, and thought I'd say hello...p (As sane as he sounded, MY response was a hailstorm of crazy. I can't blame him for assuming I was some kind of batshit alcoholic.)